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I
had my riding coach, Carol go and take a look at him. She
called me and said "Well, he's not really what we've
been looking at, but he's a really good boy." When I
went out to see him, we could see by his sway back and teeth
he was pretty old, but no one knew how old. We thought he
was in his late twenties. Carol told me to think about it,
that I was taking on a lot with him being that old. He had
been run to a sweat and we knew by his price that they just
wanted to get rid of him. I looked into his big sad eyes and
we both said "let's take him home." Driving home
that day I couldn't stop smiling. I had my first horse. It
didn't matter to me that he had bites on his coat, a shaggy
mane, a big belly and sway back. I loved him and thought he
was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. His name was Buck,
the buckskin, not too original, but he was too old to change
his name. We have since found out by the vet that he is substantially
older than we thought, in his late thirties, we think. I have
had him over three years and he is part of my family. He became
a show horse for a few years, for a girl named Jill that rode
him. He became proud, fit and glorious in his old age.
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Today
I stood with my very old horse, my dearest friend, and watched him
eat grass one last time. Buck goes tomorrow with the vet to end the
pain the final stages of cancer is causing him. He grazes quietly
and simply enjoying eating as if it was the best gift I could give
him. He exudes the pure joy of being a horse until the end.
He has
been a part of my dreams and reality woven together with his golden
hair and black mane and tail. He is truly beautiful. His quiet, kind,
gentle eyes speak volumes to my heart. He is the best listener. He
acknowledges every word and gives you a simple nod to tell you know the
universe has heard your voice. He gives me comfort in the quiet experience
of simply being.
He has
always shared himself willingly but on his own terms. I don’t
own him. We both know that. He has given me the privilege of knowing
him. We have found a common ground and a mutual respect. We help each
other and honor each other for who we are. I have learned the meaning
of the word acceptance through him.
His
friendship has been a gift that has changed me forever. I thank the
universe for him. My dream is that he walks off the earth knowing
how truly loved he was. Let him walk away with dignity and then gallop
freely to the stars. After all, he was the inspiration of the horse
heaven created in the No More Night Mares Legend. It was
a part of him that inspired me to write it.
I dream
that as I tremble with loss, I can find the strength to touch his
calmness and claim it for my own. I wish that every heart could be
as fortunate as mine to be touched by something as simple and pure
as the love of a horse.
